Are Difficult Times Really a Necessity?

I think most of us realize that we do the majority of our learning in this life from the difficult times. When everything is going right for us and we are happy, we pretty much just sit back and enjoy it while it lasts. Then inevitably, things go wrong and we are forced to change and grow from that experience, in order to get back to happy at some point. And this cycle repeats over and over and teaches us the life lessons we have come here to learn. But do we really need all of those difficult times? Is it possible that there might be another way? If some people have to continually repeat the same type of negative experience until they learn what they are supposed to from it, couldn’t you avoid that experience altogether if you manage to learn the lesson without it?

A few years back, my company opened up a co-headquarters in North Carolina and offered a generous package for anyone that wanted to move there. It would have been very beneficial to my husband and I financially, if we made the move. The issue is that the large majority of both of our families are located on Long Island. If we were to move, we would leave them all behind. It would be a trade-off. With my NY salary in NC, my husband might have managed to be a stay-at-home-dad, which he had expressed a desire to be. But we and our future children would be hundreds of miles from any other relatives. This was an extremely hard decision for us to make.

I begged God to give me a sign to show me what the right choice was for us. I have gotten many signs in the past and was certain that one would come when I had to make such an important life altering decision. To my surprise, I never picked up on any sign at all regarding this decision. I decided that it came down to the choice between family and money and I chose family. I also figured that if I really couldn’t determine that moving was the better choice, then we should just stay where we were.

Staying turned out to present some challenges, as well. My husband was laid off from his job and was basically out of work for three years. Part of the package was job searching assistance services for your spouse in NC and I couldn’t help but wonder if we made the right decision staying in NY. As time passed and we went to a number of weddings, funerals and other smaller family events, I realized that staying was the right decision. It would have been much harder to have to constantly travel back and forth and I am certain we would have missed many of the smaller events. My husband and I also do not make friends easily and that would have presented a challenge for us if we had moved someplace where we didn’t know anyone.

One day, I was using a pendulum (a kind of divination tool) and decided to ask if we were supposed to move to NC. To my shock, it said yes. When I asked if I received a sign to move and just missed it, it said no. I asked if we would have been happy and able to make friends there and again it said no. I then asked if we eventually would have moved back to NY and it said yes. It took me a while to really absorb this information. If I was in fact supposed to move to NC, then why didn’t I receive a sign to do so? Perhaps it was because we wouldn’t have been happy and it wouldn’t have worked out. We would have learned some tough life lessons from the experience and then come back. Instead, I was still able to learn those lessons in a safer place, without actually having to experience it. I continually pictured how our life would have been different had we moved. Maybe that’s why we had a bit of a tough time in NY after we decided to stay, with my husband out of work for so long. It caused me to think about how our life would have been in NC. If everything was perfect in NY, I probably wouldn’t have questioned my decision and reflected on it so much.

I have recently been studying numerology and one of the things in my reading was that any decisions I make based on money will never work out. Perhaps that was what I was meant to learn by moving to NC, but I managed to learn it without having to go through that negative experience.

Is it possible for us to constantly learn and grow while having only positive happy experiences in this life? If we were to push ourselves to continually improve as a person, through research, meditation, EFT or any other tools we can think of, can we actually avoid those rough times? Do we only experience the hard times in order to force us to improve? If so and we are already doing it, then they wouldn’t be necessary, right? I managed to learn the lessons I needed to learn from moving to NC, while staying in NY.

I’m sure there are certain challenges we are meant to experience that are set in stone in our life path. But there’s a chance that with focus and determination, we can avoid much of the heartache set up as a possibility in this life only as a tool for our soul’s education. Wouldn’t it be great if it was as simple as reflecting on the good choices you have made in your life? Allowing yourself to feel grateful for them and acknowledging how your current life is so much better than it would have been had you made a different decision. And through this reflection, learning the life lessons you would have, had you chosen differently. I believe it just may be possible. Can you imagine what it would be like to live a life where only good things happen to you AND you manage to accomplish all of the growth your soul thirsted for in this life? How amazing that would be?! If we are able to banish our limiting beliefs, fears, and anxieties, and focus only on how grateful we are for the wise decisions we have made, we might just be able to get to that place.

Another thing to ponder is what if I was never meant to move to NC at all. I was only supposed to think I was meant to move there, in order to come up with the revelation in this blog post? They say that spirit tells you what you need to hear, instead of what you want to hear. Maybe sometimes what you need to hear isn’t entirely accurate, but is necessary for your personal growth.

I will leave you with one last thought. What if the idea that we learn more from the hard times is just another limiting belief? And the truth is that we are capable of learning just as much from the good times (maybe even more), if we only knew how. And the reason we continue to experience so many difficult situations is that we are subconsciously telling the universe we need more of them in order for our soul to grow. And then we take pride in all of this pain we brought to ourselves because we survived it and proved we were tough enough. If given the choice, which way would you prefer?

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